Monday 30 May 2011

The two year holiday

I have chosen a particularly crabby day to start this. With about a month to go until we move to Singapore everything is feeling a bit overwhelming and undone.

The decorators left about a week ago and each day I see something else that they did badly, needs fixing or discover a completely unrelated problem that needs a completely different expert to come and fix it. Boilers leaking, windows leaking, lights hanging out of their sockets. The carpet needs replacing and the piles of books in boxes have to be taken to the lock up.

I had a brief moment of feeling like superwoman flying things to the charity shop in between having large injections and just as a little extra on the side organising my Dad's 70th Birthday party including cooking all the food. The adrenalin has gone and I am like a limp dishcloth and great, great fun to be around.

People keep saying, 'so have you lined something up for when you get out there' and it's all I can do not to scream at them and physically attack them. No, no I haven't had time to job hunt on the other side of the world while I am working full time here and trying to sort out everything before leaving.

A few people, men mostly, have said "So, what are you going to do when you get there? Will it be like a sort of two year holiday?" at which my partner has begun to look distinctly concerned. And it's the last thing I would like.

I am also, while in my worried frame of mind, concerned about finding work and what that work will be. I need to blow my worries away. What will be will be. But it definitely won't be a two year holiday.

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